Scene: This Krazy Coupon Lady at the local YMCA family club attempting to live down a New Year’s fitness resolution in just three months.

 

Trainer: “Let’s crank up the speed on that treadmill from 0.5 to a mere 3.”

KCL: “Sounds great! I can shop for hours so this fitness thing is a snap!”

Trainer: “Here we go.”

KCL: Panting hard. Sweating. Face is beet red.

Trainer: “Hey, are you OK?”

KCL: “gurglepthfhhhhh.”

Trainer: “Maybe we should slow it back down. I’m calling the paramedics.”

KCL: “No! Hand me my coupon binder. It will make this workout easier.”

Trainer: “How will this gargantuan 30-pound binder help?”

KCL: “Trust me. Oh, I also brought along a shopping cart. Let’s get that up here on the treadmill.”

Trainer: “That’s a bit unorthodox, but I guess it is worth a try.”

KCL: “All I need now is two kids in the cart and nothing can stop me.”

Trainer exits, finds two crying kids in the pool and places them in the shopping cart.

KCL: Glides easily along at a 5.6 speed on the treadmill. “I can do this for hours.” Begins whistling.

Later, after an hour-long workout session, KCL heads to Jamba Juice to replenish nutrients. Luckily, KCL had joined Jamba Juice’s e-mail list from GreatTreats.com to score a coupon for a $2.00 smoothie.

KCL: Sipping delicious, thick (and inexpensive) smoothie. “Now that’s a workout!”

Score a $2.00 smoothie here. Enter an E-mail address, birthday and zip code. The coupon arrives via E-mail. Sip a smoothie and enjoy fitness the easy way! (OK, that’s a joke.)